Zyber’s Corner

Well, not really. But lets move on. Right, the whole not drinking thing was a success. I did 20 days in the end so that i could end when my summer was set to begin, the end of exams. I found that I could handle it no problem, it was everyone around me who hated it. Why does me not drinking affect anyone but me?

Over the 20 days I went to the pub numerous times and didn’t drink, it was actually quite amusing, my own mother accused me of drinking after getting back from the pub, said I was acting funny. Yup, she’s not seen me sober in quite a while!! I also went out for a mates birthday, again not drinking and had people offering to buy me booze. It’s not like i was too poor to afford to drink, soft drinks are generally more expensive than alcohol is. My mate who’s birthday it was, was especially unhappy I wasn’t going to drink that nigh. I mean why is it such an issue, what if i really was an alcoholic and gave up alcohol altogether, however would my friends cope?

I’ve finished Uni now and was supposed to go on holiday last week. For one reason or another this fell through and i’ve been left with 2 weeks off work and nowhere to go. Luckily my friend Cat graciously offered me a place to stay for a few days, the only drawback was that she lives in Reading. Never been to Reading…don’t really wanna go again, although they do have some nice buses.

Oh my work was robbed which has caused one of the barmaids to leave (she was held hostage while they robbed the place) which means i’m covering her shifts, so i’m working 4 nights a week. Not too bad while i’m off uni but i’ll not have these shifts when I get back there so all is good. Money while I need it, time when I need that.

I got my 360 back so i’ve been playing an assortment of games. Tried playing Star Wars the force unleashed Jedi temple downloadable content *breathe*  which is a bit cack and short and really really hard on Sith Warrior difficulty. Then onto Fable 2 which, while i enjoyed it at first, not remembering any of the controls, what I was doing or anything, quickly bored me. The I turned to Fallout 3. What an unbelievable game!!! I don’t like RPG’s, i mean really don’t; the only RPG i’ve ever played and liked was KOTOR 1 & 2.

To begin with I didn’t really like Fallout but when i got into it and got enough weapons and ammo to arm a small bunch of mercenaries planning a coup d’état I really started to enjoy it. I love doing missions/quests, finding things and exploring and with enemies which don’t respawn I can take my time and enjoy the game. I picked up the first DLC Operation: Anchorage because it’s currently at a reduced price and I was going to play it when I had completed the main game. But, while exploring an area I came across the location which activates the content. Not realising what it entailed I headed into it and completed the first 2 quests of the content. They aren’t particularly difficult, just draining. Because the game is not an FPS the combat is a little bit taxing at times especially when it comes to multiple enemies and constant enemies one after the other after the other. Don’t get me wrong, the FPS aspect of the game is pretty darn good and probly one of the reasons I actually like this RPG instead of simply pushing 1 button constantly with the word “attack” isn’t my idea of a game.

So i’ve got a bit hooked and I want to finish this DLC so I can get on with the main exploration. I’ve only gotten about 12 hours into this game and with multiple ways of exploring (achievements for being good, bad and neutral) I might get lost in this game completely.

I’m heading down to Birmingham this weekend, should be a giggle, that is all.

Strange, i’ve been playing Fallout 3 for about 10 hours straight today and I came off, went on facebook and all of a sudden felt horrible. Terrible depression overcame me and my stomach started doing somersaults, which is strange as I can’t figure out why. Probly something subconscious that i’ll figure out when I sleep but I hope I feel better tomorrow. Drinking and Transformers. Get in!!

Right, for…well a long time now, i’ve been going out and just getting drunk. No reason for it, other than the depression, just getting drunk and passing out. More recently i’ve, more and more, getting drunk and blacking out. Not collapsing just getting so drunk i black out portions of the night, most of the night usually. I drank a bottle of Jack daniels on Monday because i was depressed, i had 5 pints of Carlsberg, 5 JD and cokes and then started on the rum and irn bru last night at a friends birthday.

Thing is, i’ve known these people all my life so trying to figure out if i was an asshole (more than likely) is tough. I don’t mind making a pratt out of myself infront of strangers but friends of my family i do. So, the Plan…

…I was only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. Sorry, wrong film. I can clearly see that when i have 1 drink i have to have more, so i’m gonna do a 30 days. 30 days of no booze what so ever. This might not seem like a long period to drink for but i am somebody who drinks all the time. I work behind a bar, i go to pubs for food all the time, i’m surrounded by alcohol!!!

So 30 days of no alcohol, think i can do it?

Well not too much has happened to me recently, nothing note worthy anyway. I’m finding twitter and actual conversation with people is filling the gap that blogging/venting actually used to. I have my ups and downs, as many people do, but i just find that I am only complaining about the same problems over and over because nothing is changing so i just stopped, complaining. A problem shared is a problem halved but it doesn’t make a difference.

Doing loads of group assignments in Uni at the moment and I had a run in with a mate of mine about it. I got a phone call from him last Monday (when the snow was quite bad) saying that the lecturer had been snowed in and if i wanted to come into Uni we could do some group work. He’d not come in for the last 2 meetings but then again, i was the only one in for those as well; for a group of 4, it’s pretty damn shocking. So i phone up my friend who’s pregnant and let her know we are heading in to do work so she gets up and gets ready but will be a bit late. Nee bother, we can do the work while we’re waiting. I fight my way through the snow, the blizzard, i was like an artic explorer trying to get to the north pole!

I managed to get to uni just after 11 and was grateful for the rest as i’d nearly died* several time. I was greeted at the front door by my mate and some of the other students. They were in the middle of a conversation about whether the rest of our lectures were on this afternoon. When we found out they weren’t my mate proceeded to tell me he was leaving with the other students to go to the Trafford Centre.

WHAT THE FUCK???!!!??? Seriously?

I’m on the phone to my pregnant friend at the time while my mate leaves and i let her know what’s going on. I’m in complete shock as this guy is walking out. We’ve both had a go at him over the last week as it was completely out of order. I guess that’s just the way some people are though. I’ve been warned about having him in my group as he’s known to do shit like this all the time.

Moving on, Valentines day is next Saturday and I have the night off…not that I have anything to do. Someone wanted to swap and have the next day off so now i have Valentines day night (i guess) off and no girlfriend to share it with. Gonna see if some of the lads want to have a night on the pull…but with like 3 single friends (and they are single for a reason) i don’t know how successful it’s going to be.

The big thing i’ve noticed this year is that nearly everyone i know is using moonpig to send valentines day cards. Seems like it’s the new fad that’s going around. Seems like they have cracked a niche market but with the snow recently i’ve heard the post has been slightly delayed so i don’t know if everyone will be getting their cards on time.

Anyways, that’s all for now, peace out homies!!

* slipped in the snow

Right, being an avid 360 supporter in the past I thought it only right to write my thoughts about the newly purchased PS3 sitting in my room. Now I know what you are thinking, he’s moved over to the darkside and well maybe I have, but still, hear me out. Having both my 360’s die on the same day kinda pushed me over the edge so I bought a PS3 and here is what I thought about it…

The first thing I noticed about it is that it is sooo quiet. The 360 is a monster when it comes to noise and the PS3 is completely different. Although it does makes some really weird noises at random points. I mean I go to bed watching DVD’s every single night so I can always hear the 360 when I wake up in the night and turn it off, but the PS3, I can barely hear when it’s on or off.

A lot of the media functions are pretty generic like the 360 however streaming videos work a lot better on the PS3 than on the 360. The only problem is it’s a little indecisive when it comes to which types of video it will play. AVI’s no problem but for some reason it will only play some WMV’s and not others which is strange.

And those are pretty much the only 2 good points…

Bad points:

XMB is shit compared to the guide on the 360. If you want to do anything, anything other than look at your friends or trophy’s you have to go back to the start up. You can’t play music in game which might not seem like a lot, but it just shows the limits.

It’s sooooo slow. If I hit fast forward, rewind, skip, pause and play on videos and music. I honestly could not believe how bad it was, it would stack up commands as well so thinking it hadn’t got the command to skip a track I’d hit skip again and again, skipping past an actual good track. It becomes more frustrating while watching DVD’s.

Internet browser. Like the PSP but a little more advanced. It’s good just a little pointless. Ok you can get updated instructions instead of printing them on paper so you are saving the planet a little but still. I’ve found it’s a better way for games companies to advertise and get you to sign up to things in return for free content…bastards.

SixAxis…yea, great invention.

I’ve not installed linux yet, so this can’t actually be a bad point but I just wanted the point out the irony that the 360 made by M$, a company that makes Operating Systems does not allow you to install it on a 360 but Sony’s PS3 is more like PC than a 360 is.

80 Gig model does not support any backwards compatibility for the PS2…granted I’ve not played a PS2 game in about a year but still. I’d like the option.

Home…what a waste that is. Filled with adolescent boys going up to people with girl avatars (whether they are girls or not is anyones guess) and just talking to them and only them. Nobody else talks to each other, just 5 guys around every girl.

My biggest gripe about the PS3 is the need to install absolutely everything. Put in a game and it needs installing, download a game and after its finished downloading you need to install that too. Went into home and it asked me if I wanted to go to home square…ok….please download home square…wtf?? I just downloaded Home and now I have to download every single place in it before I can go there? Why weren’t they downloaded to begin with? Load times are still there, so why the need for the install?? Blu Ray is that bad it can’t read everything from the disk so it needs to read it from the HDD as well, this was one of the main problems with Blu Ray Vs HD DVD, HD DVD had much better load times yet they went for Blu Ray in the end and this is the cost.

OK, OK, I might have been a bit overly harsh really I mean I’ve just got a cheap Blu Ray player so there is that. The friends list is ok, charge time for the controller again acceptable even if the cable is pretty short so it’s not all bad. It’s more reliable than the 360 so….

All in all it’s a games machine, it plays games while my 360 is being repaired and now I don’t need to worry about platform exclusives. I’d still have my 360 any day of the week but to play all the games available and for the wireless streaming, the PS3 is ok…I suppose.

Define normal: conforming with or constituting a norm or standard or level or type or social norm; not abnormal; “serve wine at normal room temperature”; “normal . Well according to google that’s how you define normalcy. But what is normal?

After 5 months of being off from uni and having next to nothing to do, I’ve just started back at uni. Coming back has a few re-entry problems. Mainly just the university being a bit rubbish. The passwords have all be reset without telling anyone, timetables are all wrong, labs are broken, timetables are pants (technical term), lecturers don’t know what they are doing etc etc.

But what’s new with me? I’ve stopped drinking. 5 days sober and it’s pretty hard actually. I woke up a couple of weeks ago completely happy for no reason which is really strange as it has never happened to me before. It felt good, really good but now I’m wavering. I was happy and didn’t care about all the bad things that have had me depressed for more than a year. I’m beginning to think I was just glossing over the real problems which are very real. But I don’t know. I thought by writing this I would somehow figure out what I wanted needed to do but I don’t. At least I can’t face that decision yet. I’ve got so tired of the whole thing that I don’t want to talk about it to anyone but writing it helps a little. Even though i’m still not ready, I’m still hurting, expressing it without hearing the same old response is good. I have disabled comments on this post.

A month after my accident and I’m still pretty fucked. Didn’t even remember posting the entry below this one, that’s how bad I’ve become. Since my accident I have barely been able to remember anything at all. I don’t think I’ve really come to terms with everything as this has put my life really into perspective. I’ve already started to try and make amends for every bad thing I’ve done in my life. My name is Earl-esque.

So what’s new? I’ve finished my work experience now, might decide to crack on with my novel now, get that finished off for publishing. I got a letter through about Uni, I won the John Ryan prize for excellence for my first year at university. This is basically for getting the highest marks on my course. Here is a copy of my letter. I’m dead chuffed about it and it’s actually made me re-evaluate uni as I was still debating whether or not to go back due to the reasons I actually started. But I digress.

Not long til XL now, seems like it’s gonna be pretty tough this time but i’m still looking forward from the break of being Matt so I can be Zyber. Some people might think they are the same person but they’re not, Zyber is who I like, who I want to be all the time but can’t. God I sound like an emo.

Anyway, I think I’ve bored you for enough. Night!

Today was my first day of my work experience. I had arranged to work with my uncle at a company called ansa (links to come when I’m less drunk) which is a sort of insurance company.

Anyways, the job is in Oldham which is about 30 minutes away, straight down the motorway and when you turn off you are pretty much there. The day was pretty good, nice company, nice people, nice job and a nice drive. Twas really easy, got on the M60 and it was simple, a nice drive. I’d even done a recon with my dad the day before. So after I’d finished work I got in my little Ford Fiesta and started my trip back. Should only have taken me 30 mins but it was a bit longer than that.

I started to feel the car shake, I thought I might have been in the wrong gear or was driving over a chevron or something like that but no. So I decided to get off at the next exit…but then I realised I wouldn’t make it to the next exit when the car started shaking violently. I decided to pull onto the hard shoulder and just be done with it, I didn’t want to do this before encase I was making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I indicated left and then pulled to the left and as I did I saw my tire going off to the right. I was in complete shock, I didn’t know what was going on. I stopped and saw a couple of people run over my tire. Someone eventually stopped (I was still in the car and didn’t fathom what was going on) and I was just compelled to get out of the car and grab the tire off the inside lane and pull it over to the hard shoulder. I called my dad and the my uncle (who was close enough to help me out).

My uncle showed up about 10 minutes later and changed the tire for me and pretty much saved me. I was still in shock after what had happened and he even followed me all the way home as well. Getting back on the motorway was probably the best thing for me but it didn’t seem like it at the time. I think, even now some 7 hours afterwards, I’m still in shock about the whole thing!!!

I’m really angry about the whole thing but not angry at anyone thing or person, just angry. Probably why, when writing this in bed, I’ve smashed my hand off the wall about 12 or so times. Wouldn’t be soo bad if it was playful but i mean, truly smashed it off the wall, the skin is ripped off of all my knuckles and its a real pain to actually open up my hand and type. I don’t really know what’s up other than I’m still in shock. I think I just need to sleep but all I can see when I close my eyes is my tire flying past me.

I realise I’ve not always made the right choices in my life but I made the ones I thought were right and yet I feel so angry and so alone, now more than ever. I have made a lot of mistakes but I take full responsibility for them, nobody else was to blame but me, so I’ve moved past that, I hope others can to.

OK, tried this shizzle again. Things to note, i recorded this about a month ago, still no music as i’m lazy and i’m still trying to figure out a proper format. Topics of this podcast are:

• Facebook
• Zero Punctuation
• The pope
• Topless women

LINK’s:

My facebook profile

Zero Punctuation

Enjoy!

Zybers podcast episode 2

 The saga continues [25:06m]: Download

Yup, I threatened to do it and I did. Yea I came up with the idea of having a free flowing sort of blog and the best way to do that was through a sort of podcast. So last night, i was quite bored and got around to playing with the idea. Recorded the first one of my little series which is just the raw, unedited version of my recording. I like it more like that, kinda like real life, just going with the flow.

There are a few things to point out which i’ll try for the next one:

• Sort out my heavy breathing so i sound less like Darth Vader
• Intro and outro music
• Mini script on what i actually want to talk about as oppose to thinking it up on the spot
• Maybe a guest :p

Ok, to be fair this is no masterpiece and i know some people are going to hate it, feedback is welcome of course but i don’t think there is much you can say about this one besides it’s shit. It’s more of a test at the end of the day. Anyways, you can listen to it here (right click and “save as” to download):

Blogcast Episode 1

Enjoy!

 Blogcast episode 1 [15:43m]: Download

Right, guess it’s time to blog about my XL week, well that’s pretty much what it was. Headed down to ye old brummy on Wednesday which is a day before the set up because a mate of mine down there invited me to stay at his. Few beers etc. So headed down and my man Nero met me at the train station and we headed back to his gaff.

I actually met him for the first time at XL 3, he showed up to my hotel with a bottle of rum and 8 cans of Stella at 1.30am. The guy is a legend so I decided to repay his kindness with a bottle of Morgan Spice Rum for us to drink this time. Got to his place and met his wife and 2 sprogs (all really nice), his wifes best friend Jenny and another guy who I really cannot remember the name of…saying that I don’t remember most of the night. There were only 4 of us for most of the night and we got through 9 beers, a bottle of Vodka and the Morgan spice. No wonder I don’t remember the end of the night, I think I must have said some fucked up shit. Well Nero’s still talking to me so that’s a good sign. I didn’t go to bed til around 9am Thursday morning so when I rocked up to the NEC about 3pm I was still pretty shagged.

Met up with everyone and headed back to the hotel (twas lush) to check in and for a heavenly shower. Swear, I was sooo shagged that day, that cold shower was the best thing ever! Walked back over (yes you read that right, walked, we were that close to the NEC we could walk) and proceeded to set up. I say set up, I was really shagged and wasn’t much good. Jay kept asking me why I was soo down, I wasn’t down, just messed up. Jay turned to Chris and said “Jedey’s fucked!” Chris turns to me “You fucked mate?” and I go “Aye”. Chris came over and gave me a hug so I guess the weekend wasn’t a total loss :p

Spin, Becky, Razor and I had to make 468 lanyards and then 468 goodie bags, with loads of promotional shit into Race Driver: Grid bags. While doing this very repetitive task, something for which I was very grateful Jay suggested I do, me and Spin came up with a slogan for XL 4. XL4: don’t hate the player hate the game. Because, before even playing it, we were all sick of Race Driver: Grid, lol and the worst part is, I never got to play it. SADFACE.

We made it back to the hotel pretty late and got some kip. We woke up in time for breakfast which razor just wasn’t feeling that morning. We rocked up at the NEC to find the usual morning chaos. I met up with loads of my old friends and made some new ones. I’ll list my shout outs at the bottom. We ripped through both FFA’s for Halo 3 and COD 4 and got a good way through the GOW 4 Vs 4.

We phoned through to the Hotel during the day asking to keep the bar open as we’d be back sometime after 11. We closed around 10ish, had a quick bash on the games (I think) and headed back to the hotel for about 11.15. For the walking crew (me, Steve, Jay, Spin and razor) we walked into the hotel to find Chris and the new guy Dave arguing with the concierge. Apparently the message to keep the bar open wasn’t left and the bartender had gone home for the night. While we were faffing around dropping bags and shizzle (Stewart getting changed the cheeky cunt) to try and go somewhere to get a few beers. The concierge comes over and apologising for the inconvenience and offers to pay for taxis to and from a bar in town. FUCKING A!!!

We headed into town to the local wetherspoons, quite a nice place. We had 2 taxis, one bringing me, spin, Jay and Razor and one with Dave, Chris, Tempus and Steve. Our taxi driver did 115MPH down the motorway so we got there first and proceeded inside. We were told before getting there to take off our beanies/hats and to just straighten up a bit, lol. Me and Spin went in nee bother, Jay and razor fixed themselves up outside for a minute or two and headed in. ROFL, Razor got ID’d on the way in the door and he’s older than me! Spin generously offered to get the beers in and what a round it was. 8 beers and then he bought 8 shots of Tequila for us all as well, probably celebrating his first kid coming soon. Jay, the big girl of the group, refused the shot so spin had 2. We sat down and I proceeded to document the event and we found out that Mega pixels do not make a camera to Jay’s dismay. My camera PWN’s all. While Chris was at the bar with Dave, I gave Steve my phone and he was going through my photo’s and we came across one of the group ones and zoomed in on Chris. He looked just like Uncle Fester. Bluetooth, what an amazing invention. We sent it around to everyone’s phones and Jay and I have photoshop on our phones! Here is my attempt! After a few beers and a quick take away he headed back to the hotel via a mini bus and got to bed.

Up the next day bright and early and as usual, me and Spin are up and at breakfast first. Razor slept in to get his beauty sleep (that and not wanting breakfast) and we were soon followed by Chris and his Mrs. Apparently Boffy and Jay were already up and at the NEC, one of the alarm systems was going off and Jay rang me to find out where the zapper for it was. Of course Steve had taken it with him. Lets just say I don’t think I saw Steve til about 10am, lol. Nothing really event worthy on the Saturday, we got through the GOW finals and started on the COD 4 5 Vs 5 and the Halo 3 4 Vs 4….Except for Xg Minx showing me her ultrasound. Her and Xg Reaper are having a little baby! Ain’t that cute, an XL romance which turns into the first XL baby!

Now, I’d accidentally left my watch at my friends gaff in Brum so I left early on Saturday, headed back there and stayed at his. I met his cousin Kieran and we all just kicked back with a few beers etc and laughed at shit on youtube.

Easter Sunday I woke up and headed back to the NEC picking up a rolo egg on the way as it was Easter. Rocked up just after 10 or 11 I think and got back to work. I spent most of the day on the front desk as my IBS was crippling me as usual. I got chatting with Minx about Reaper. Apparently the burger van the NEC got was dishing out some nasty food and Luke (Reaper) had got food poisoning and was back at the hotel. Luke rocked up a bit later looking like shit. A bunch of us spent time at the front just chatting and having a laugh. Chris regaled us of a story which got him the nickname Uncle Fester Pants! Chris had got food poisoning as well, he rushed to the toilet and while sat on the toilet threw up in his pants! Becky and Simmer’s Mrs bought a couple of hotdogs from the Burger van, bit into them and found they were pink. Becky who had previously stolen these hotdogs took them back with Stomping freak as backup. Here’s a pick of Stomping freak giving Chris one. The burger vender was a bit too laid back about this for Stomping to deal with so he had a massive go and threatened to get food standards on them. Needless to say, 15 minutes later they had packed up and left!! XL 1 – 0 Burger van

Anyways, the day seemed to pass pretty quickly and there were some good matches being played with some of the top teams being penalised for breaking the rules. No one is above the law but quite a few people are above Jay :p About 10ish we kicked all the bad kids off the free play so the staff party could begin! Chris had bought a tonne of booze and ordered pizza’s for all the staff, the STO lot showed up with even more booze as well. I was PWNing Stace (Minx) at gears of war like I told her I would and then I moved onto a bit of COD 4. Then the pizza’s arrived and most of the staff went off to eat a bit and come back. I was playing and Luke popped up behind me and I realised there was a random bad kid sat next to me. I politely asked him to get off the consoles and then bitch slapped his puny white ass when he talked back to me. Note: I didn’t actually hit the kid just verbally PWN’d his ass and Luke was laughing his ass off about it.

A load of beers and some antics later, we left the NEC about 4.30am. Walked the UbiSoft chick Kas back to her hotel (as it was through a darkened wood and to see if her bar was open) and then Dave, Steve, Stewart, Jay and I went back to our hotel. Me, Dave and Steve took the easy route and Stewart and Jay decided to actually go through a forest to get there. LOL. Steve then came up with the devilishly good idea of going to wake up Razor and Spin (who I was sharing room with) and that’s exactly what we did. Jay went in and jumped on top of Spin and he has proof that they were sleeping together…I have the proof that he has proof. They left and I got some sleep. We all woke up around 10ish and headed to the NEC to pack up. The usual pissing about began and when Steve called Chris Uncle Fester…well you can see the picture at the top^^ Yup, he cello taped his face up. I got the train back with Steve and a guy called Edutech (but only for a little bit) and Steve was bouncing off the walls. I’d never known him to be this impatient.

I got home eventually, completely shot but it was worth it. Wednesday through to Monday with little to no sleep, partying and gaming, it was one of the best times of my life and something I really needed. I’ve come back and I’m actually happy for a change, I’m back to my old self. Anyways, the key moments.

Shout outs

Chris – for being Uncle Fester Pants.

Jay – for making sure I was ok for a change.

Steve – for not insulting me as much as usual.

Stace – For the entertainment.

Luke – for being a guy I can have a laugh with.

Boffy – for being himself.

Renegade – did not know this guy but turned out to be a Legend!

Dave – Legend!

Spin – for letting me crash with him and razor and always a top guy and funny as fuck. Didn’t get pissed off or anything at my stupid jokes. ROFL, GG dude.

Razor – for just being himself.

Nero – Blood!

Shadow – for being his usual self.

Melanie – for not kicking my ass when I clobbered her when she hugged me.

Simmer – My man, how can you not like Simmer?

Phrases of the weekend

GG

lulz

Roflcopter

SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI

All pics can be found on my facebook but if your not on facebook or have me on it click here and here.